Matt's Audio Letter of the Week

Hey everyone, welcome to this week's FBL.

This is Matt.

And so, I wanted to talk about the importance of patience and expectancy in the recovery process, and how they can seem to work against each other, but when you find the balance of both, there's a kind of a secret sweet spot there that really is important.

So one of the things is, let's talk about expectancy first.

When you decide to heal, one of the things is you need to expect healing.

And what expecting healing means is not, hey, hoping that this could work or might work, or, you know, I'm gonna try to manage, right, I'm gonna try to cope.

See, what a lot of people do is they don't step into the state of expectancy.

They use techniques, and when things get hard, they'll switch techniques, or they'll hedge their bets and try 15 things at once, not really sharing what's producing results.

But when it comes to healing, mentally, emotionally, physically, an expectancy is important.

You should expect recovery.

Now, if you expect to cope.

And this is where you have to kind of, like, look within yourself and see what's really going on.

If you expect to manage, and you expect this to be a lifelong condition, and you expect that you're gonna just deal with this forever, and you're just gonna kind of have to manage, and that's just the way it is, because someone told you that, well, that very well could be your reality, because that's what you expect.

You know, I mean, Henry Ford said it very well, and this is where, like, the aspect of belief is very important.

Like, you can withhold healing from yourself through belief.

You know, and, I mean, one of the most interesting passages in the Bible, to me, is, you know, the whole idea, in the Book of Mark, when Jesus went back to his hometown, and it said he couldn't perform miracles because people there didn't believe.

Now, and I'm paraphrasing that.

But, I mean, that's a pretty intense passage, because it shows the power of your belief, and when you don't expect to recover, and you expect that this is gonna happen, or you hope, right?

But you truly don't expect something.

You subconsciously work against it.

You subconsciously settle for less, you subconsciously will sabotage it.

You won't even try, because you don't expect it.

And so there's this aspect where you have to decide within yourself that I'm not going to manage.

I'm not going to cope.

I'm not going to try, like, I am going to heal.

One of the things that was, I think, you know, very, a thing that I brought into my recovery process, my healing process, was there was no other option.

I was not going to not get that result.

And if someone told me I couldn't get the result, they just weren't the person that was gonna help me, right?

Because obviously they didn't know how.

So I was gonna, it didn't matter who I needed to find.

Anytime I've ever needed to heal or learn something.

The only thing that was ever the option was I'm gonna find someone who has already achieved it.

And because they've already achieved it, it's possible for me, and I'm gonna do it.

And I'm gonna figure out, whatever I need to figure out, I'm gonna learn from whoever I need to learn from how to do that.

But I expect the outcome.

Now, you can't expect the outcome and not change. Once you start to expect the outcome, you have to become the person that can create that outcome.

Which means you can't keep doing everything you've been doing and then expect something different to happen, though.

See, so once you decide on the outcome that you want to create. In this regard, healing or getting out of the fear loop, whatever you will.

The thing is, is you can't expect that outcome by continuing the same things that are producing the outcome you currently have.

Which leads me to the next thing, is once we begin to make changes, you also can't be forceful.

This is where a patient expectancy is important, because when you try to force, it's also displaying a lack of trust in the process.

Everyone's healing journey evolves differently, even though they generally run in similar stages.

And everyone has stored emotion that needs to be healed. Things that they need to confront, things that they need to release.

And when you are patient, and you learn and give yourself the grace and the learning period to learn how to do this, right?

And generally speaking, working with people that have already gotten there, right?

Instead of just, you know, trying to do this yourself and all of that, and I've talked many times about why that's not a path I recommend.

But, there's this balance between expecting the outcome and then patiently learning and applying and implementing what you need to do to become the person that's gonna create that outcome.

Because there's going to be a learning curve.

And there's going to be setbacks and pitfalls in all of this stuff.

And so having patience and a lovingness with yourself, along with the expectancy of the outcome, is what serves to kind of put equal weight on both ends of that, of that, you know, teeter-totter, so to speak, to balance everything.

If you have too much expectancy, but you aren't patient, you'll be very forceful, because you're operating from a lack of trust.

If you're just patient, and you have no expectancy, you'll be trying things, but sabotage the whole process, because you don't really expect any change to happen.

So, it's one of those things that I wanted to share in the hope that it's helpful today.

Again, as always, if you're interested in going deeper with me or my team in TVC and being part of our community, we'll have a link where you can complete an application below, and with that, wishing you all a wonderful weekend.

I'll talk to you soon.