This Week in The Feel Better Letter 👇
✅ Recovery requires both expectancy and patience—you need to expect healing while allowing yourself time to learn and grow.
âś… What you expect matters because your beliefs can unconsciously work for or against your recovery.
âś… Expecting a different outcome means becoming willing to change the patterns that created your current state.
✅ Patience isn't passivity—it's learning to trust the process instead of forcing it.
âś… New episode: Is Your OCD Diagnosis Helping or Hurting You?
Matt's Message of the Week
Patience and Expectancy
When it comes to recovery, two things can seem like they're working against each other: patience and expectancy.
But when you find the balance between the two...
There's a sweet spot that's incredibly important.
When you decide to heal, you need to expect healing.
Not hope that it might work.
Not tell yourself you'll just learn to manage or cope.
Not hedge your bets by trying 15 different things at once.
You need to expect recovery.
Because what you expect matters.
If you expect to manage your symptoms forever...
If you expect this to be a lifelong condition...
If you expect that you're simply going to have to deal with this...
You can unconsciously begin to work against the very outcome you're hoping for.
You settle for less.
You sabotage the process.
Sometimes, you don't even fully try because you don't actually expect a different result.
But expectancy doesn't mean you can simply decide what the outcome will be and then keep doing everything you've always done.
Once you decide on the outcome you want...
You have to become the person who can create that outcome.
That means changing the things that have been creating the outcome you're currently living with.
But this is where patience comes in.
You can't force healing.
You can't rush the process because you're afraid that you're not getting there fast enough.
Everyone's journey unfolds differently.
There are things you need to learn.
Things you need to confront.
Things you need to release.
And there will be setbacks, pitfalls, and a learning curve along the way.
So the balance is this:
Expect the outcome.
But patiently learn how to create it.
Trust the process.
Give yourself grace as you learn.
And understand that patience isn't giving up on recovery.
It's learning how to walk the path without trying to force yourself to the destination.
Because if you have expectancy without patience, you'll become forceful.
And if you have patience without expectancy, you may never truly believe that change is possible.
You need both.
Expect the healing.
And patiently become the person who can create it.
(Click below to listen to the full message.)
Helpful Episodes for the Week
Is Your OCD Diagnosis Helping or Hurting You?
In this episode, Matt shares his own story of first hearing the word "OCD" and traces the line between a label that opens up new possibility and a label that turns into a trap. He explains why fixing the "theme" your fear latches onto was never the real work, and what it actually means to move beyond diagnosis into a deeper level of healing.
👉 [Watch Episode]
How to Feel Fear Without Believing It
In this episode Matt breaks down why you cannot solve a problem of the mind by using the mind, no matter how much you research, rationalize, or ruminate. Fear is a state. It's a field that runs through your nervous system, and your mind's only job in that moment is to try to explain why it's happening.
👉 [Watch Episode]
Do Intrusive Thoughts Last Forever? Here's What Actually Makes Them Stick
In this episode, Matt explains the real difference between a thought that's neutral and a thought that feels intrusive — and it has nothing to do with the content of the thought itself. Once you understand what's actually driving the intrusive experience, you stop fighting a battle you were never going to win.
👉 [Watch Episode]
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This Week’s Reminder
Expect healing.
But don't try to force it.
Trust the process.
Give yourself the patience to learn.
And keep moving toward the outcome you know is possible.
To your freedom and success,
Matt
